How to convince your PA to be your girlfriend
by thatsyou
Summary: Tony's diary about his life, the suit and of course, his girl Friday, Pepper Potts.
1. Day 1

Title: How to be a world-known superhero and convince your PA to be your girlfriend at the same time

Author: **tony_edw_stark**

Rating: PG13 (for the moment)

Summary: Tony's diary about his life, the suit and of course, his girl Friday, Pepper Potts.

A/N: This is taken from the livejournal account of my friend **tony_edw_stark **and it was first posted on the Tony/Pepper community. Since my friend doesn't have an FF account she asked me to publish it on my FF profile. I hope you will enjoy this and please review!

Day 1

---

Three weeks after the epic battle with Whiplash and she wasn't talking to me. It seems to be a habit of hers, I realized. Yes... pretty much a habit. I'm sick of her habits.

Today's what? Tuesday?

So I had a board meeting to attend at nine but who the hell does she think I am? I'm Tony Stark. I don't go to board meetings. I just hate them and the board members, starting with the bald one who reminds me of Obadiah. See, another reason for my absence.

I woke up from a strange dream - because I don't have nightmares anymore - and turned on the other side. When I saw that she was not there I sighed. A deep, melancholic sigh. I realized then that she was more than just a simple one night stand.

I stood there and thought about her. Because now it's just a her, not exactly a person. I mean I know that I deserved what she did to me, but it's still weird. After I had this... revelation about me and a specific girl being together I started thinking that I shouldn't sleep with anyone else. I was sure that Pepper was going to notice my lack of one night stands, but she didn't care... at least she pretended very well that she didn't care.

Pepper... well, she's my assistant and my best friend. She knows me better than I do sometimes and she's the one who's taking care of me and my company. She actually runs my company. I was dependent of her constant presence in my life. The thought of her gone for just about a half an hour or even less made butterflies run through my stomach.

After she turned me down cold I was broken. My hopes started to fade away slowly but securely. She wasn't just a someone in my life. Pepper was the one who ran my entire life.

Days passed, weeks passed and then weeks turned into months. Six months more precisely. And then I met Natasha. I sort of liked her and started dating. It wasn't that sort of dating which included romantic dinners, bouquets of roses and candles. It wasn't even a date. We just fucked like cats in heat. Natasha was so aggressive in bed that it occured to me that for once I wasn't the one leading in sex. When we finished the bedroom would look like a battlefield.

It didn't get any better though.

A few months into that and I was sort of falling in love with her aggressive methods.

That's why I didn't realize what she was up to. She and her friend, Ivan Vanko. Kidnapping Pepper was low even for her. This is why Pepper isn't talking to me. She accused me that I only dated women who were a potential danger for me and her and even the company.

So, here I stand. Three weeks after the battle and exactly that much since I saw Natasha. Or that much since Pepper last spoke to me.

I toss and turn in my bed, unable to fall back asleep. Even though I know it's past nine, Pepper doesn't come to wake me up. It hurts so much to see that everyone around you hates you and everything you do that you can't feel anything but an acute pain in your heart. I wanted to cry so badly that it hurt even more but I couldn't. What would Pepper say if she'd see me? That I'm a coward - yes.

Time passed quickly as I stood and sulked in self-pitty. I closed my eyes and pretended that the life I had was just a really bad dream. I was still awake when the door cracked open. I tried to regulate my fast breathing but anything I'd do wouldn't help. Instead I focused on snoring softly. I know it's Pepper because I can hear her stilettos clicking onto the marble floor. I'm surprised that she didn't yell at me or something.

I know I was dressed only in my boxer briefs but it wasn't like she hasn't seen me in any less. I was resting on my belly with my head propped between plushy pillows. The thin sheet didn't cover my back so I was glad that the purple bruise was almost healed.

I swallowed hard as Pepper gently sat down on the bed and brought her small, life-saving hand up to my forehead to brush away a strand of hair which stood up awkwardly. I almost held my breath but I figured that she would notice that I'm awake if I did so. She watched me for a couple of minutes before moving her hand almost imperceptible over my arm. Every hair on my arm stood up like it had life of his own and my heart was beating so fast I thought it was going to pop out of its place.

I opened my eyes slowly, like I did when I opened them for the first time in this morning. I noticed that I wasn't the only one who held his breathing in the room. Pepper looked at me with an open mouth, the curve of her lips forming an 'oh'. I wanted so badly to catch her arm and pull her slender form to me, but instead I blinked several times before I opened my mouth.

"Hi..."

She looked as if she didn't believe that I was talking to her. She slowly shook her head and replied serenely.

"You are in big trouble, Mr. Stark."

The sudden change in her attitude made my stomach flinch. She was acting like she barely knew me and it hurt so much more.

"So now you decide to talk to me?" I ask, barely keeping my anger at bay.

"Yes." She replies without any hesitation. "I was saying that..."

I cut her off with a sharp glare.

"Yeah, I know what you were saying and it doesn't matter. I'm not going anywhere, least of all at some stupid board meeting. They can handle the company even if I'm not there."

"All right. If you think so, Mr. Stark. I'll be in my office if you need something, or you can bug Jarvis."

"Yeah, sure..." I mumble from between the pillows.

She sat up, ignoring my feelings and marched towards the exit.

In a sudden moment I realized I couldn't hold back any much longer, so I bolted upright and ran after her. She barely turned her startled gaze towards me as I grabbed her wrist softly.

"Why are you so mad at me?" I ask, feeling a little discouraged at the smirk she had on her beautiful lips I wanted to kiss so much.

"I'm not mad at you, Mr. Stark. I'm just-"

"You're just what?!" I insist.

"Not so sure of you anymore." She says softly and looks in my eyes, maybe hoping that I would understand, but I don't.

"Why aren't you sure of?" My question comes out a little dumbfounded but she decides to ignore it, apparently.

"Of your intentions." She replies quickly. This time I get it but she shrugs out of my hold and walks outside my bedroom.

"Yeah... that's absolutely helpful!" I yell back.

---

I decided to end this war even though I was sure I wasn't going to win.


	2. Day 2

Day 2

---

The next day I closed myself in the workshop because I didn't want any interruptions when I worked on the suit. The suit was pretty damaged in the battle and it needed some improvements. I was absolutely certain that I wouldn't get out from there a whole week - considering that Pepper wasn't talking to me. Okay... she was talking to me, but it was all about business, and I'm so sick of it.

But what about what happened yesterday? The whole 'I'm not so sure of your intentions' thing. Hmmmm... I kinda assume what she thinks, but it's not that. So what do I do now?

I tinker with pieces I don't need, think and re-think about one little possibility which could use me some help. The whole affair with Natasha destroyed her trust and I wonder why? I never tried to hide my so-called relationship with the russian bombshell from Pepper. She was there every morning, prim and professional as always. I couldn't believe that she just didn't care. I mean, the look on her face - cold and unfriendly made me reconsider my decision of telling her that Natasha wasn't just a one night stand.

I suddenly felt a warmth spreading along my hand. I stared at the red liquid for a couple of moments before throwing away the object I had in my hand. This was absolutely wonderful. The world just simply hates me!

"Jarvis please tell Pepper that I need her here immediately." And that's how my whole world turned upside down in a matter of minutes.

Pepper rushed down the stairs (she was wearing stilettos and she didn't even fall) and punched her code with trembling fingers.

"Mr. Stark..." She started and glanced over at me.

I frowned deeply at her while grabbing my arm tightly. She must have noticed the blood stains on my white t-shirt and that's why, with a heavy sigh she walked towards the aid kit and took some bandages and the antiseptic. I suppressed a moan as a sharp pain left me breathless. My entire arm was throbbing with pain and I squirmed restlessly in the chair, waiting for Pepper who seemed unhurried by my desperate attempts to make her finish what she was doing there more faster and help me, for god's sake.

"Ahhhh!!!" I moaned against my will as another wave of pain throbbed through my entire arm.

Pepper looked over at me, her eyes doe-like and her gaze liquid. What the h- I stopped mid-thought as I heard her quiet sob. My eyes drift automatically to hers. She avoids my worried gaze as she moves towards me with the aid kit in her hand.

"Show me your hand." She murmurs, her voice raspy.

I release the grip on my arm and moan softly. Pepper takes my hand in hers and studies it carefully.

"What did you do, Tony?" She asks as she presses a wet towel over my arm. I want to answer her so badly because she's finally calling me Tony, but I don't really know what happened. If I'd tell her the truth she won't talk to me anymore and I don't want that.

"I-I uh..." I try to say but she applies the antiseptic to my wound. The sensation makes me jump in the chair and I bump my nose into her stomach. My good arm goes around her waist and I hold tight, figuring that if she's going to be as distant as she was till now it might be my last chance to touch her.

She doesn't try to push my hand away, instead she passes her fingers through my hair softly. I hold onto her more confidently, knowing that she was not going to yell at me for being me.

"You'll need some stitches." She warns and I swallow hard, thinking that God really, really hates me.

I closed my eyes and bit my lip from preventing any other moans as she fixed me up. Clenching my hand tightly around her waist I think about how this could have ended more badly. After it's all over I let out a shaky breath and reluctantly let my arm fall down from her waist.

Pepper sets the aid kit carefully on the desk and gathers the dirty towels. I risk a look at her and what I see makes my heart jump. Her eyes were red and puffy and her breathing was erratic. I sat up and ran to her. Pepper held up a hand and I stopped, feeling dizzy.

"I'm fine, Tony. Just... don't do that again, please."

I looked at her and this time I truly saw what I had done to her. The whole superhero thing - the worrying thing. She was damn scared she could lose me, and I couldn't blame her, really. I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing and that's why I cut myself. Yeah, I cut myself and if she wasn't here I probably must have bled to death. God, I'm such a moron.

"I'm sorry. I promise I'll be more careful next time." I whisper softly and look down at my bandaged arm.

"Keep your promises." Pepper murmurs and exits the room.

---

That evening when she's getting ready to go home I sneak through the hall and into the living room and place a single red rose by her car keys. I stay in the shadows and watch her reaction - if earlier I thought that God just hates me, this time I want to shout in happiness because Pepper had just smelled the rose while closing her eyes and doing what - meditating something, maybe - I don't really know now, because I'm too happy.

After contemplating for a couple of minutes she gathers her stuff and walks towards the exit with the rose safely in her petite hand.


	3. Day 3

Day 3

---

That night I slept well. It would have been hard not to, all things considered. Pepper was finally talking to me and she called me Tony a couple of times yesterday, so I suppose that was a major step in regaining her trust in me.

Anyway, after she went home last night I couldn't sleep so I went back into the workshop and made another arc reactor. This one which I'm using now is scratched all over the place and I really wanted to get another one. While I look at it I wonder if Pepper would still accept doing this again. If not I guess I'll have Butterfingers to mount it in my chest, even though I really doubt I'd let a robot anywhere near my heart.

Also, I didn't spent the whole night down in my shop. I just stayed up till midnight and then I took a shower before collapsing in my own comforting bed.

The morning came a little too early for my tastes but somehow I managed to wake up before Pepper arrived at the mansion. It was five past six when I walked into the kitchen with great plans for that day. I rarely cook and that's why it took me two tries to make an omelet. When I was a kid my mum used to learn me how to cook - but I liked working with my father more. I guessed that Pepper wouldn't want to eat any of the food I've prepared so I made her a coffee.

At seven sharp the door to the kitchen opened and Pepper walked in. She was dressed in a black pencil skirt and a white shirt. She looked stunning and I found myself staring at her.

"Hello, Tony. What are you doing up so early?" She asked me while she set down her purse and stuff.

"Hi..." I smiled up at her and thought about a plausible answer while I ate my omelet.

She looked at me and arched an elegant eyebrow.

"So what are you doing up at this hour?"

"Thought I'd surprise you."

Pepper stopped in front of me and glared at me as in disbelief.

"Really now?" She asked and stared in my eyes.

"Absolutely." I replied without hesitation.

She smiled again and I felt hope rising in my chest as she moved closer. My heart was beating at abnormal speed as I watched her.

"You have something on your-" She whispered softly as she stared at my goatee.

My eyes widened as she peeled off the piece of omelet from my trimmed goatee.

"Thanks..."

She lightly poked me into my shoulder and she laughed. I didn't know why but her simple laugh warmed my heart.

"What?!"

She laughed a bit more and then turned serious.

"How's your arm?"

"It's fine. It hurts a bit actually but it's not that bad."

"Okay."

She took the cup of coffee from the island counter and added more sugar.

"I was going to ask you something." I admitted sheepishly.

She sat down on the chair and looked at me expectant. I bit my lip and opened and closed my mouth a couple of times before I had the courage to ask her.

"Will you help me with the arc reactor again?"

Pepper shot me a look and I swallowed hard. Maybe she doesn't want... or maybe she's afraid. I shouldn't have asked her. God... I knew she was going to say no.

"Um. I don't know." She paused and took a deep breath. "Can't you find someone else to help you with that thing?"

"I don't think so..." I gave her that puppy look which I knew it worked on her and I was right. I grinned and sat up, ignoring the throbbing in my arm once again.

"See you in ten minutes, okay?"

"Fine." She mumbled, annoyed.

---

Fifteen minutes later I found myself with the hands of Virginia Potts in the hole in my chest once again. I looked at her with narrowed eyes and studied the worried expression on her face as she was taking off my old arc reactor. I sighed happily as her hand brushed accidentally my chest.

I craved to touch her right then. I wanted to tell her that it was going to be okay and that I won't go into cardiac arrest like the last time, but I was afraid to tell her that because I was sure it was going to break her concentration. Instead of touching her I handed her the new arc reactor which was glowing brightly. This time everything went great and my new arc was working at its full power in my chest.

Pepper wiped her hands on a towel and took the old arc in her hands, then turned her gaze towards my curious one.

"Do you want to incinerate it? Again?" She asked me, smiling.

"Hmm... no. I'd rather want to keep it for yourself, you know, proof that I have a heart."

"You know that I hate doing this for you." She whispered in a tensed voice. I didn't expect that she was going to be upset - god, what did I do so bad that she had to get mad at me again...

"I wish you didn't have this - heart. Because if you didn't I shouldn't change it for you."

That hurt a lot, I have to admit. I sat up and ignored any other comments and gave her a sad smile.


	4. Day 4

Day 4

---

My heart hurt a lot. I didn't think it could happen to me. Of course it wasn't an actual pain just that anytime I saw her from the corner of my eye, or Jarvis mentioned something about her, my chest tightened and I couldn't breathe. She hurt me so much these past days that I wonder if this was her way of punishing me for what I've done to her.

Sometimes I find myself with an incredible urge to ask Jarvis about her - but I don't. I know my AI isn't the best secret keeper around so I clamp my mouth shut and I resume on tinkering with useless pieces from the suit.

I don't even know why I'm trying anymore. It hurts even more when I think about it - because I have this feeling that she isn't going to do anything that will affect her professional life and job. And god, I want so desperately to just let go but she's like a drug.

My entire being yearns to be with her - to touch her, to taste her and love her.

I stop from whatever I was working on and raise my hands up in front of me. I glare angrily at them because I can't focus on anything just because I'm too distracted - Pepper Pepper Pepper - my mind keeps screaming. And because they're shaking so violently that I have to wrap my arms around myself, hoping that they would stop. They don't stop though and I need to pace restlessly around the worktable with my arms wrapped around my torso.

Suddenly my hands aren't the only ones shaking. This time my whole body starts quivering. The workshop starts spinning around me and I fell to my knees on the cold concrete. Jarvis is in the offline mode because I had to install some upgrades, so he doesn't alert Pepper who was probably working on some papers in the living room.

I close my eyes and I don't fight the waves of disappointment that wash over me and let me fall even more, until my head hits the hard cement with a dull thud. I hear the door being opened and her stilettos clicking sharply.

"We need to talk about the plans for your birthday, Tony." She says but I can't reply because I'm shaking so badly and I can't open my mouth to tell her that I'm currently lying on my belly with my head throbbing on the floor right in the front of the worktable.

"Tony?" She asks as she moves a couple of steps in my direction. She sets the stack of papers onto the table and stops there. A giant lump formed in my throat as I realized that she probably thought that I wasn't talking to her because of what happened yesterday.

"Mr. Stark?" This was really great - she reverted to Mr. Stark again.

I hiss softly - just like a snake and she hears me, thank god. She moves fast and I hear her gasp as she leans over me and rolls me onto one side. I look at her, my eyes unfocused and my arms still wrapped tightly around my torso.

"Oh my god - oh my god, Tony. What happened?" She asks me as her hands touch my face hesitantly.

I can feel her gaze boring straight into me but it doesn't take long before she's asking me something else while her fingers find the warm liquid on my temple. She asks me again, this time frantically as she tugs at my right arm - the wounded one. I gasp sharply as her nails dig into my flesh.

"Fuckkk..." I hiss through clenched teeth and grab my arm harshly. She stares at me before she stands up, her eyes watery.

I shake visibly but not that violently as I did before as I rush after her.

"You promised -- " She murmurs irritated.

"Please stop."

She stops in her tracks, her entire frame shaking with anger.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" She spats towards me and I flinch - I've expected this so I shouldn't react like this, I reasoned.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" I spat back angrily.

I watch her as she blinks in confusion. I didn't mean to sound like that - it's just - she asked me first.

"I'm going upstairs now. Will that be all, Mr. Stark?"

"Hell, no!" I reply quickly and grab her wrist roughly. She lets a little squeal of surprise when I pull her into the direction of the couch. Pepper tries to shrug her wrist from my hold but I hold firmly. She stumbles forward until she crashes her body into mine. I take advantage of this position and I reverse our positions.

She gasps when I push her down gently onto the couch. I know this isn't right and maybe she'll slap me or worse - she'll quit if I push her too much. I let her fall on her back onto the expensive black leather and it's only after that I crawl atop of her. She looks at me, her eyes widened and dilatated.

"Let go of me," She warns in a defeated tone and I grin to her dismay. "What is wrong with you?"

"Nothing is wrong with me." I assure her, calmly, but I can see her eyes searching mine desperately.

"What do you want from me, then?" She asks with trembling lips.

I take one of her hands in mine and I stroke her delicate knuckles and smile.

"I wanna know why you get so mad at me everytime you see me?"

She lets out a breath I suppose she held before I asked her my intriguing question.

"You're bleeding." She says.

"Yeah, and? I'm bleeding all the time, or you didn't notice, Potts?"

"I'm sure you do, but it's different. You promised that you'll be more careful when you work down here."

"That was a metaphor." I mumble softly and stare in her eyes. We were so close...

An awkward silence settled between us but it felt so good to have her under me, her soft body pressed into mine and our hands entwined.

"Are you planning on staying atop of me the whole day?" Pepper breaks into my thoughts and I bring my curious gaze to her lips.

"Tell me the reason."

"I told you already."

"No, you didn't. You keep avoiding it."

She brings her other hand to my face and traces my bottom lip softly with her index finger.

"I'm not sure of your intentions." She repeats the line she said to me three days before.

I don't let her finish her words because I catch her finger with my teeth and I bite it gently. She lets out a startled gasp which arouses me. She retracts her finger almost immediately but I smile because that most definitely affected her in a way or another because she's blushing and I've never seen her blushing like that.

"I think you are sure of my intentions, Pepper." I tell her softly and I search her gaze but she doesn't look at me.

Instead she uses her other hand to push me back a little. I don't want to force anything so I reluctantly let her hand go and I sit down on the couch. Pepper sits up as well but she sits up from the couch. I get up and go after her.

"I don't want to talk about that, Tony." She says and this time she meets my expectant eyes.

"At least promise me you won't get mad at me again. I hate it when you're not talking to me." I beg her with my best puppy eyes. She falls into it and I smile, knowing that I won this time. I want to take her in my arms so much that is hurts, but I don't want her to think that I can't be patient. I can be, I know that.

"I'm going home because I have some shopping to do but I want you to take a shower and clean that wound you have there -" She says softly and looks through some papers. "And I wanted to know where you want your party to take place this year?"

She has a pen in her hand and she waits for me to tell her where I want my birthday party. I sure as hell didn't think about that because I was let's say - distracted for the last couple of weeks.

"I really didn't think about that." I admit and I look over her shoulder to see what she's looking at.

"Well you will think about that because there are going to be a lot of people you know and I don't want to cancel it."

"Will you be there?" I ask and I smile when she turns her scarlet face towards me.

"Yes." She whispers softly and smiles nervously. I smile back, hoping that she will wear the backless dress so I can touch her soft skin again.

"Great." I tell her breathless. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay. And sorry for yesterday. I was really mad at you and-"

"No. It's okay, I'm okay."

"No. It's not. I shouldn't have said that because this-" She touches my arc reactor with tenderness. "Is what keeps you alive and I don't hate it. I could never hate something that keeps you alive."

"It's really nothing. I didn't even pay attention."

"Clearly you haven't." She looks at me like she knows what I've been through. Maybe she does.

"Thanks..."

She smiles a little more and gathers the papers in her arms but before she could run away from me I lean in and kiss her softly on her cheek. She flushes fastly and smiles nervously again.

"Good night, Tony."

I stare at her as she walks away and I barely can open my mouth.

"Uhm... yeah. Good night, Pepper." She turns her head and smiles to me once more before she disappears on the stairs.

---


	5. Day 5

Day 6

---

Sunday was usually a boring day. Until Afghanistan it wasn't such a boring day because that day meant that Pepper wasn't at the mansion. It was a good opportunity to take a car and go into the city - to a club, dance a little, drink a little and take a woman home for the night. Of course it wasn't a surprise for Pepper when she came back on Monday morning to find another woman wondering the empty rooms of my mansion.

But now what I can say is that I don't want to risk my own skin and go out for that. I've been through a lot and I think that when people are going to see me they are going to go ballistic. It happened once, three months ago when I decided to go shopping - it was a Sunday - like today, because there were no more cereals. The paparazzi and a crowd of excited women followed me through the supermarket with cameras in their hands and pictures for me to sign.

Anyway I ignored them.

Pepper mentioned a couple of months ago that she likes spending the Sunday morning out - jogging. That gave me an interesting idea.

She lives in a condo - the whole building was owned by me but it doesn't matter anyway. But how do I get there without an entire army of paparazzi following me? That had me thinking for about fifteen minutes before I rush into the master bathroom with a goofy grin playing on my lips.

This is crazy - my mind tells me and I decide to ignore the warning bells in my head. I take the razor from one of the shelves and plug it in. I look in the mirror and start shaving off my perfectly trimmed goatee and mustache. She's not going to recognize me, I think. She hasn't seen me without my goatee and mustache ever because I used to grow it since I was 21. She works for me for about five years. That means I was 30 when I hired her.

"Jarvis?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Do you have any idea where Pepper could be right now?"

"Of course. She is jogging on the beach."

"Which beach?"

"The Malibu beach, sir."

I grin and put the razor on the sink with an ingenious plan in my mind. I look in the mirror once again and smile. I look ten years younger like this - without my trademark goatee. No one would recognize me, except maybe Pepper. I wonder if she'll faint when she'll actually see me like this.

I wash my face and hands before I run to my bedroom and start searching through the closet. Finally, after a couple of minutes of searching through dozens of designer suits, shirts, pants and ties I find a pair of shorts and a white Hawaiian shirt. Along with them I take some flip-flops and some D&G sunglasses.

I get to the beach in a record time, almost stumbling on the last step. The weather is absolutely wonderful - the sun is up, glowing brightly and sending waves of warmth into my skin. The ocean's quiet and peaceful and there are some birds flying above the water in hope for catching some fish. The sand beneath my feet is hot and I can feel the hotness through the flip-flops. That's weird, I muse and search for Pepper.

No luck, though. I look around me but there are no people, just a few birds and a dog - a lost dog I suppose. I walk slowly on the beach while I search for my girl - my lady.

After ten minutes of no luck I decide to stop at a bar but I don't want scotch or vodka. This time I ask for a coke and the bartender looks strangely at me - I recognize that look anywhere so I don't take off my sunglasses just so he wouldn't know who I really am.

Half way through my coke a strawberry-blond looking woman takes the empty seat beside me. I smirk into the glass and after she tells the bartender that she wants a cold mineral water I take off my sunglasses and look at her with a huge smile on my face. She finally looks at me and the expression on her face is priceless.

"Ton--Tony?" She babbles incoherently and I smile a little bit more.

"Yes?"

She breaks into laughter and sets her mineral water on the bar. I can't help myself but laugh as well. When we're sure no one is looking at us like we're some lunatics we stop laughing and she turns serious but a faint trace of smile is still present on her lips.

"What have you done with your goatee?" She asks me and laughs.

"Have I caught you off guard?"

"You know you always do that. Now answer my question."

"I thought you might appreciate it. That and the people won't recognize me." I add with a small smirk.

"That's really... thoughtful from you." She admits with a smile. "You look..."

"You can tell me now---" I cut her off. "I'm hot, right?"

"You're warm, yes." She avoids the subject and puts her hand over my arm to see what temperature I have.

"You can always tell me that I'm hot."

"I like you more with your goatee. Besides you look hotter with a mustache."

"Ha! You admitted that I look hot." I exclaim with a swing of the glass.

"It's not like that." She murmurs with a blush covering her face.

"It doesn't have to be." I tell her seriously and I grab her hand in mine.

She brings her gaze to mine and I hold it for a couple of seconds.

"You booked the place, right?"

"I- yes. They said it would cost you around five thousand dollars per hour which I think it's incredibly over-priced."

"It's okay. I'll pay them exactly how much they want."

"Fine. You're the boss."

"They said that the place will look like a club and you know... all the arrangements."

"Right."

"Next Saturday."

"That early, huh?" I say and give her a full teeth smile.

"Yes." I look down at our hands and then back at her mouth. I'm still having a tough time concentrating around her.

"If you're okay I'm going home now. I just stopped for a drink."

"Well I don't think I'll agree with that."

Pepper turns her face away from me to hide her insistent blush. I sigh happily and pay to the bartender.

"Me and the lady here-" I tell him and I wait until he gives me the exchange.

"You didn't have to pay for me."

"Nah. It's my pleasure."

"Sure it is." She tells me softly and looks in my eyes. I feel like I'm swaying on the gentle breeze of the ocean when she gives me that look.

We walk for a couple of minutes - neither of us saying anything. We just enjoy the time together.

"I guess this is it. Our roads part away." I tell her dramatically and take her hand in mine once again.

She doesn't resist me as I press a heated kiss on her cheek. I look at her and she has her eyes closed and her mouth slightly opened. It's the perfect way to kiss her but it's the wrong place.

I sigh softly and let her hand go. She looks like she wants to say something else but she just closes her mouth and waves me goodbye.


	6. Day 12

Day 12

---

The week passed by quickly. Pepper was mostly busy with the arrangements for the party while I spent three days on a mission in Irak. When I came back Pepper was waiting for me down in the workshop with the aid kit safely in her hands. I smiled at her while the robots took the suit off my sore body. She made sure I didn't crack my ribs and put ice on the worst bruises.

That happened yesterday.

Today was the big day! Even though it's Saturday Pepper promised she'll stay more than just till the lunch break just to make sure I was going to shower and dress properly. She told me that if I wanted a suit then I wasn't going to dance because I was going to sweat like a pig but she also told me that I can pick whatever I want to wear. I decided on a purple t-shirt, some dark jeans and a blazer.

It's two pm and I'm anxiously waiting for Pepper to tell me the last details on the party.

"Sorry..." She says as she opens the door of my bedroom. She doesn't even look up as she speaks. I'm dressed only in my boxer briefs and a white wife beater.

I decide to get her flustered even before the party so I try to take off the wife beater but I pretend I can't because I'm too bruised and my back hurts like hell from the last mission.

She looks up then with a small smile.

"I might need a little help here." I hiss and bring my hands back in their usual position.

She hesitates for a couple of seconds and I look at her questioningly.

"Okay. Okay..." She comes behind me and lifts the hem of the wife beater up. I groan softly as she moves her hands over the bruise on my back and lean into her touch. She retracts her hands then and backs off a few steps.

"All done. The party starts at seven but you have to be there at half past six. Happy will wait in the front of the mansion but now he's with the limo at a car wash - I don't know where, but he's also coming to the party." She says almost too quickly for me to catch anything but I smile and motion her to continue.

"The guest list is in the living room on the coffee table. You need to shower and trim your goatee-" Yeah I forgot to mention that my goatee has grown back over the days I spent in Irak. "The hair-stylist will arrive at half past four and --" She's talking frantically and I find myself grinning at her nervous state.

"You get it right?" Her voice is all raspy from too much talking.

"Of course. Uhm... you going home?"

"Yes." She replies and checks her BlackBerry. Her hands shake visibly and I tip her chin up. She looks at me with her steel blue eyes and I swallow hard. She's so beautiful like this. It makes me wonder how she'll look tonight. I was honestly dying to know.

"You feelin' okay?"

She stares right at me - her eyes shining strangely. She looks nervous. Hell, I've never seen her so nervous. She's biting her lip and her skin is flushed and everything is... oh god. She's trembling.

"I'm..."

Is it because I'm only clad in my boxers?

I raise an eyebrow and look at her longingly.

"You're what?"

"Look it's nothing, Tony."

"Like hell!"

"If you promise you'll behave tonight with your guests maybe, just maybe I'll tell you."

My jaw dropps suddenly and I breathe deeply through my nose. Her scent fills my senses and I have to back off a few steps or else I would do something wrong that I'll regret later. I can't stop the huge grin on my face though and I think I know what she meant. I guess I'll have to 'behave' tonight.


	7. Day 12 The Party Part 1

Day 12 - The Party - Part One

----

The paparazzi follow me from the moment I get in the limo until I arrive at the Disney Concert Hall. Outside the building are the journalists and the press who wait for me with their cameras ready. I put on my best smile and wait for Happy to come around and open the door for me. The moment I get out I'm blinded by dozens of flash bulbs but my smile doesn't fade away. They probably are wondering why I'm smiling like a fool... They won't know, of course.

The ballroom is empty but very carefully arranged and it looks like a disco. There is a stage in the middle of the ballroom that will probably used later for the band who's going to perform. I remember telling Pepper that I want a special band tonight, or at least a singer who could entertain the guests. But I guess it's too much even so. I wonder what she's going to look like...

My thoughts are suddenly interrupted by a very handsome Jim Rhodes who makes his way through a hidden door. He grins and pulls me in his warm embrace.

"Happy birthday Iron Man!" He grins once again and motions me to look over the way he's pointing at with his hand.

He points at the door he'd just walked in earlier. I bring my gaze back to his and smile a little confused.

"What's in there?" I ask, eagerly to know what's hiding there.

"There-" He says and wraps his arm around my shoulder. "Is the surprise. Pepper didn't tell you, did she?"

I look at him again, this time really confused. To tell me? "She made me promise her that I behave tonight just so I can get to know the surprise." I whisper to him and look once again at the door.

"Well I think that's what you should do." He smirks and pats my shoulder. "I'm gonna go tell them to start preparing for the arriving of your guests."

"Yeah, okay." I say and look around me.

There are tables arranged and there is also a bar - good lord, I think I might need a drink. This whole secrecy keeps me on my toes. I walk over to the bar and sit down on one of the stools. I look down at my hands who are starting to sweat just a little. I wipe them angrily on my jeans and glance at my watch. There are only five minutes until they should start arriving. I don't really care how many people are going to be in this ballroom. From the guest list I suppose there will be around two hundred. From family friends, business partners, the board members, the new CFO of Stark Industries, a few I don't really know, the LA mayor with his wife and daughter, Hugh Hefner and his girlfriends, a few movie stars, including the NBA star LeBron James and my old friend Ghostface Killah.

A few more minutes later I start searching for a scotch but I turn just in time to see a few of the guests making their entrance in the ballroom. The bartender shows up then from another hidden door. This time the door is masked by a few decorative plants. I didn't notice it though.

I rush to greet them with a confident smile. I shake Leon Cabro's hand and he gives me a million watt smile. He was the new CFO and he was twenty seven. Pretty young to get that job, but there weren't any other options. His wife looks okay, I think. A plastic surgery for her nose would do her good. She is babbling incoherently as she wishes me Happy Birthday. I take her hand and press a chaste kiss to her knuckles before muttering 'thank you'.

I look towards the door and smile awkwardly at my old college mate who shared his room with me for a couple of weeks until Jim's room was repaired. We worked on a secret project then, called 'The Squirrel's nuts'. It was a mini bomb that blasted in our room when we were at lunch, so this --- this college friend offered himself to share his room with me and Jim. I told him that I was forever grateful for the gesture, but I guess he's never forgotten me. That's why he's here tonight, but he won't ruin anything. Least of all my ecstatic mood.

An hour later almost all the guests arrived at the party. Most of them were talking and having fun. All the wives were gathered in a corner of the ballroom and they were gossiping about me and the party, because every time I turned my look towards them they would smile and wave their hands in admiration.

I keep looking over at the door from ten to ten seconds. I just can't admit that she's late. She's never late, I muse and take a sip from my scotch. I glance back at the stage and the dance floor where a few couples were dancing close to each other. I sigh deeply and I wonder if I would have a chance to dance with Pepper tonight.

Rhodey and a few of his military friends join my table and Rhodey sits beside me. "Pepper called." He says softly.

My head snaps at him. He looks at me for a couple of seconds and his eyes are dark.

"She told me that she thinks she can't make it tonight and that she was sorry." He tells me without looking straight into my eyes.

I suddenly feel my chest tighten with disappointment and my mouth goes dry. I can't feel anything but pain, disappointment and broken hopes. I close my eyes in hope to stop the burning tears and I put my hands over my face. Rhodey lays his big, strong hand on my shoulder and gives it a squeeze.

I don't really know how much time passes while I just stay there with my eyes covered and my shoulders slumped. Rhodey knows how important Pepper is for me now. I think he knows how much I really love her and I think he feels sorry for me because it seems that I have no chance at her. And now... this... I really didn't expect this. I didn't expect it would hurt so much.

Reluctantly I open my eyes and glance around the ballroom. In one corner I spot Rhodey looking worriedly back at me, his eyes apologetic. I give him a weak smile and glance into another direction. Through the crowd I spot Nick Fury and his little puppy - Agent Phil Coulson. Gee, who invited them? I wonder and close my eyes again. I hear people cheering in the background of my mind and I sigh helplessly.

"Why are you so sad?" Comes a voice behind me and I raise my quivering gaze up and notice a very beautiful Pepper Potts who takes the empty seat beside me with a blush in her cheeks.

I can't recover from my earlier state of being upset and I look at her with unfocused eyes. The fact that Rhodey told me she couldn't make it to the party broke my heart and let it sank deep down in my stomach. She looks worried that's all I could notice through my foggy eyes as she brings her fingers into my hair and smooths it down as she goes. I close my eyes and let myself be absorbed in the meaning of this moment.

"Tony..." She murmurs softly and I can hear the sound of the fabric of her emerald green dress as she shifts and kneels down to get a closer look at me. "Why are you so upset?" She asks me again more tenderly. "Something happened?"

"You-you just... I thought-" I stammer and I look down at my feet. It feels impossible to look in her eyes now. The pain had become unbearable and I just sigh heavy hearted. "That you-you maybe didn't want to c-come..."

Pepper smiles gently and brings her hand up to my face to wipe away a tear who was too stubborn and fell onto my cheek.

"Don't be like that..." She whispers softly and brings her lips inches from mine. "I'm here now..." She tells me softly and presses her lips to my cheek feather like.

Her kiss left me breathless. "Happy birthday!" She murmurs right after her lips had left my cheek.

"Thanks..." I mumble a little too sad for her tastes but she takes my hand in hers and pulls me at my feet.

"You still wanna know that secret?" She asks me with a wicked grin on her lips.

I entwine my fingers with hers as she pulls me further along into the crowd.

---


	8. Day 12 The Party Part 2

Day 12 - The Party - Part Two

---

Everyone's eyes are fixed on our entwined hands while Pepper drags me through the enormous dancing crowd.

"You close your eyes, okay?" She tells me as we reach the door. I nod numbly and close my eyes. "No peeking." She threatens and lets go of my sweaty hand.

I want to admit that I don't like the quietness of the room when I walk in. The lights were closed and I couldn't hear anything except my breath and the sound of Pepper's dress and stilettos.

"Do you remember when I told you it will cost you around five thousand an hour here?" Pepper asks me and takes my hand again. I'm really really nervous. What is she hiding from me?

She and Rhodey... two masterminds. I should have known that I've hired two people who were even more intelligent than me when it comes to this. Surprises and stuff like that. Since my parents sudden death I used to hate surprises. You just can't love surprises when the entire police department knocks at your parents mansion door and tell you they've had a car accident and that they are dead. It goes just like that, but now's not a bad surprise, I suppose.

"Yes, I remember."

"Well that was a lie." She admits with a small laugh. I let my hand fall down from my eyes and smirk.

"You lied..." I whisper to her and I use the other hand to pull her closer to me in the dark. She gasps softly when I do that and lays her petit hand on my chest, right beside the arc reactor.

"Yes, I lied. But I had a reason..." She gently taps the arc reactor with her nails and looks at me through the dark. I can't see her face but I can sense that she's smiling. "You know that band you've always wanted to perform at your birthday party and they couldn't come because they were on a tour or they had a concert?"

My heart starts beating faster when she says that and it takes me a little while to think about what band...

"Are you talking about the...?" I trail off, waiting for her response with my heart in my throat.

"Aha." She murmurs and presses a little closer to me.

"The dolls?"

"Yes." She murmurs again with another smile. She tries to leave my arms but I don't let her just yet. I want to ask her why she told Rhodey that she couldn't come.

"Why did you call Rhodey?" I ask softly and move my hand from her waist to the expanse of skin on her back. She gasps sharply as my skin makes contact with hers. Her skin is breathtakingly soft and warm and... I can't even describe it.

"You wouldn't believe it..." She says breathlessly as I lean in, my lips a few inches from hers. "I had to go to the airport to take them here. They had a problem with their... tools." Pepper admits nervously, her voice faltering.

She looks at me then, her eyes soft and hesitant. Her gaze trails from my eyes down to my lips and I think she is thinking the same. I wanna kiss her. Right now. It's the perfect moment. It's just the two of us, in the dark. She deserves it - for working so hard for this party and for staying at my side even after Natasha.

I bring my hand down to her waist again and close the gap between us. I'm trying to temper my shallow breath and so does Pepper. Our lips are milimeters away when the door opens suddenly. Pepper pulls away from me quickly, her hand shaking in mine. I grith my teeth wanting desperately to shout at the woman who just opened the door. It's not just a woman, though. It's Nicole.

"Tony!" She says sweetly as she runs to me and wraps her arms around my neck and kisses me on my cheek. "You billionaire playboy-" Hey! I don't know whether I should be ofended or not but when Pepper lets go of my hand I find out that I am ofended.

"Hi, Nicole..." I say, clearly annoyed and try to shrug out of her hold. She lets me go after she kisses me again this time at the corner of my mouth. I bit my lip in hope to prevent the growl of frustration that threatens to spill out.

"Darlin' when you gonna get on the stage?" I ask her and risk a look at Pepper who stands in a corner and fidgets with her hands.

"In a minute handsome." She purrs and takes my hand in her manicured one. She pulls me through the door and I gasp when I actually see what is hiding in there. The other dolls are there, getting ready for their 'show' and I look around, astounded. In a corner I find fifteen maybe twenty strippers. Good lord, Pepper what have you done? I ask myself and smile awkwardly at them. One of them takes her bra off and throws it at me.

With an 'oh' I step away from the bra and go back into the dark room to find Pepper.


	9. Day 13

Day 13

---

Everything else became a blur. That's all I can remember after I returned in that dark room.

---

I wake up to a characteristic smell of a hospital. I can't open my eyes because the room is so lighten that it blinds me. My ears are buzzing and I have a strange taste in my mouth. I try to move my fingers and clench them into my fists. My hands are so cold it's like I've been kept into a fridge. There's no one else in the hospital room - there's only the maddening sound of the monitors.

I can't remember what happened after I returned to that room. I can guess though, it's not that hard. Maybe I've fainted or maybe I've been shot or beaten by some enemies. My heart beats so fast that I can feel it beneath my arc reactor. The arc is still there, thank god. I don't feel any pain. I'm just very tired, that's all. Maybe it's from the medicine they've given me.

I try to open my eyes slowly. It takes a while until I can look around the white room. I'm disappointed that no one's here with me - taking care of me. This has to be a nightmare. It has to, because everything felt so right last night.

After a maybe half an hour I hear some voices and the door being opened.

"... think he should know, Jim."

I close my eyes and pretend I'm asleep. I wanna hear what they talk about. There is an awkward silence filling the room until I feel a familiar hand grab mine. I relax my hand and let her stroke my knuckles. I try to hold back a sigh while her fingers rub my cold hand.

I can sense something is wrong. They're not talking, neither making any movements. It's Rhodey who finally talks.

"You two a pair?" He asks Pepper, a hint of amusement in his voice.

Pepper lets go of my hand suddenly and I feel a smile creep onto my face.

"No." She replies quickly and sits down on the bed beside me. "Not even close."

Those three words hurt me. How could she say that? I mean after last night... we've almost kissed again. How the ---

"You know he's got a thing for you, right?" Rhodey asks her and she shifts a bit more so that her body is brushing mine.

"Rhodey..." She threatens, her voice tight.

"I mean he's been devastated last night when I told him that--"

"He's always had a thing for me. And yes, I noticed that last night."

"You honestly won't give him a chance? And you didn't tell him the real truth?!" My hearts starts beating faster when he asks her that. That's really nasty because the beeping of the monitor of my heart starts beeping faster as well and they notice that.

"Let's not talk about that here." She whispers, then adds. "What if he's awake."

Huh. She guessed that right.

"Well... it's your problem, not mine. So... you think we should tell him?"

"You know that the police wants more time until--"

"He's in danger, Pepper." He tells her seriously. A lump forms in my throat and I swallow hard. What the fuck happened?

"Wake him up..." Pepper whispers. "I won't. I can't."

I don't wanna know.... I don't wanna know.

Rhodey comes near my bed and shakes me roughly. I can hear Pepper gasping in the background.

"Not like that."

Pepper shoves him aside and tries to 'wake me up' herself. Her fingers ghost over my cheek softly, like she's trying to seduce me.

"Mmm-wow..." I whisper, voice rough.

"Tony..." She whispers and caresses my cheek.

I open one eye then the other one and look at them dumbfounded and a little confused. I pretend to look around me.

I frown and stare at them.

"What the hell?" I swear and try to take off the IV stuck in my vein. Pepper grabs both my wrists and looks at me tenderly. "Happened?" I continue softly when I see that look on her face.

There's again this awkward silence but I'm the one who breaks it.

"So... what happened? And why I'm here?"

"You collapsed." Rhodey tells me as matter of fact. I can't be surprised though. Too much stress and heart aches...

"The doctors said it was from too much stress..." Pepper continues. "Are you stressed about something?" She asks me, her voice barely a whisper.

I give her an inquiring look and sigh. It's all sort of a nightmare.

"Can I just go home?" I ask tiredly and shrug my wrists out of her hold even though reluctantly.

"Natasha showed up at your party last night." Rhodey tells me suddenly.

I feel nauseous. Pepper tries to compose herself - I can see that. She's not comfortable in this situation.

"I want to go home." I spat at Rhodey who flinches at my tone. "You get the fuck outta here!" I almost shout in frustration. "Why - how could this happen? I thought that she was in a Siberian prison - far, far away from where I am right now, under your surveillance."

Pepper is the first one who sits up and tries to leave but I catch her hand before she could move any further.

"No..." I whisper now more gently. "You stay here."

"You on the other hand--"

"Me what?!" Rhodey asks me indignately. "You gonna throw me out just because she showed up? She was your fuckbuddy, Tony. You find her and tell her you don't wanna see her again." It's his turn to spat at me and I just want to get up from this bed to beat the shit out of him. How could he say that in front of Pepper? Oh god, I'm shaking.

"Listen to him, Jim." Pepper pleads with him. "Please..."

Rhodey just gives me a sharp glare and walks to the door, but before he's out he says something else...

"...tell him..."

He exits the room then and closes the door with too much force. I don't know what he meant with that... Pepper looks at me with wide eyes and I think something is very wrong.

"Tell me what?" I ask her. She doesn't respond though. "Tell me fucking what?!" She winces at my attitude and a single tear drops on her cheek. I want to take it all back then.

"You're such a jerk." She mutters and shoves my hand away.

She sits up and takes her purse, ready to leave.

"God I hope you'll putrefy in here!"

The monitor starts beeping more strongly every second. My eyes are brimming with agonizing tears.

"Are you going to leave me here, alone?" I ask her - regret and pain in my voice. "After all we've been through..."

She doesn't hesitate. "You deserve it."

I swallow hard and collapse back against the pillows with a heart-breaking sob. She doesn't look back as she leaves.


	10. Day 14

Day 14

---

"Thanks Hap." I tell my chauffeur who drops me at the front entrance. He nods briskly and looks at me in the mirror.

"Anything else, Mr. Stark?" He asks.

Pepper Pepper Pepper ---

"No..." I trail off and nod a bit. "Nothing. I'm fine. Extremely fine in fact."

Happy looks at me with a worried smirk. "If you want me to tuck you in-" He whispers and looks away. It seems that he's embarrassed to ask that question and look me in the eye.

"It's not necessary." I mutter and close my eyes just for a second. "You can go home. I can take care of myself."

He looks as if he doesn't believe me - but who could blame him? For all these years Pepper has been here I've never had to take care of myself.

The heat starts to piss me off and I can feel the sweat on the back of my neck. Without telling him goodbye I walk slowly towards the entrance door. Once I get into the mansion I drop my sunglasses on the couch and slump back against the couch with a sigh.

The mansion seems so empty without her.

I knew she wouldn't come at work today - and it's not only because of what happened yesterday at the hospital. I don't want to believe that she has a secret and that she keeps it away from me. She might know that she can't trust me. Whatever that secret is she thinks I will fuck it up - but no, it doesn't matter.

"Fuck!" I swear angrily and kick the glass coffee table as hard as I can - given my drugged mind.

Without thinking I sit up and begin walking towards the bar. I want a drink - desperately.

"Sir, I don't think you should-" Jarvis breaks in and I stop suddenly in my tracks. I don't want to obey - I want a damn drink or anything else doesn't matter. I'm a fucking jerk, that's what I am and I don't give a damn. I don't deserve her, period. I don't want to fight for something I could never have.

"Sir? You should calm down. Your heart rate and pulse are" I let out a small laugh and glance towards the ceiling with a knowing smirk.

"I know." I whisper and close my eyes.

The doctors said that I have to get some rest in order to prevent any other incidents like collapsing or even worse - having a heart attack. The last one wasn't excluded.

Instead of taking a bottle of scotch or even vodka I decide to walk towards the medical cabinet in the master bathroom. Once in there I open it and glance over until I spot exactly what I need. I fish out five pills and swallow them almost immediately.

Xanax. The cure to my illness. I take off my shirt and slacks and throw them hastily into the dressing room before walking towards the bed.

"Shades off." I whisper before collapsing onto the bed.

---

I wake up hours later and look at the digital clock on the end table. It's almost seven o'clock. Huh? Only? My head spins and my throat is dry. I try to grab the glass of water from the end table but I fail. I don't know whether I should feel relieved or not but when I'm a little more awake I can notice that the shades were gone and that the sun was lightening the bedroom.

"Jarvis!" I shout indignately, my voice all hoarse from sleep. "I thought I told you to close the damn shades!"

"I'm sorry, sir, but I did not open them. Miss Potts did." My heart catches in my throat as Jarvis tells me that.

"Where is she? I need to talk to her..." I whisper and sit up, whimpering.

"She is currently in the kitchen and she is cooking the dinner. Do you want me to tell her that you're awake?" The AI asks me.

"Huh? No." I whisper back, my mind still foggy due to the five pills of Xanax.

I grab some sweats and rush down the stairs. When I reach the kitchen though Pepper is so preocupied with her cooking that she doesn't see me. I rest my head against the door and sigh softly. She hears me then and she turns to me. Her face is hard to read and she keeps her emotions in control.

"You look like hell." She says.

"I know." I admit after several seconds.

"How many did you take?" She asks me with a tense voice and she mutters something under her breath as she chops the onion.

"What?" I ask her and bite my lip.

"Pills, Tony. How many?"

Where the hell did she know?

"Jarvis?" I ask and look at the ceiling. "Fucking traitor--"

Pepper looks at me with the knife in her hand. Her eyes are watery and her lips are slightly pursed.

"Why do you even care? I remember something like 'god I hope you'll putrefy in here'. So why the hell do you care?!"

She doesn't respond. She keeps chopping the onion until tears fall down her cheeks. I'm not sure if they're from our arguing or from the onion.

"What the fuck did I do wrong? Huh?"

She still doesn't look up as more tears fall down her cheeks. "Nothing..." She whispers after a few minutes.

"Yeah? Then why don't you want me?" I ask quietly and look down at my feet sheepishly.

"You only want me." Pepper acuses with a hint of sadness in her voice. It takes me a while until I understand the meaning of the sentence.

"What if I need you?" I try.

"You've always needed me."

There's one more thing...

"What if..." I say and beg her to look at me with my eyes. "I love you?"

"I don't believe you." She responds and wipes her hands on a rag.

I knew this was going to be her answer. God damnit. I knew her.

That was it. My only chance at love. I blown it away like I do with other things.

I allow myself to look at her. She seems so composed - so serene. It's like I've never told her that I loved her. Indirectly, of course, but it still has that meaning.

"I'm hungry." I tell her lamely.

"Me too." She responds and fills two bowls of soup. "I figure you haven't eaten anything today."

"Nah." I say and sit on a chair, waiting for the soup.

"You're not dizzy or anything?" She asks me as she sets the bowl in front of me along with a spoon.

"A bit." I say and throw myself into the soup.

"If you're not feeling well tell me, ok?"

"Okay..." I mumble between sips.

---


	11. Day 15

Day 15

Rating: R (here comes the good stuff)

"I'm going home." Pepper says from her office when I pass by.

I check my watch and frown. It's ten pm.

I duck my head into her office and try to act nonchalant but I know I can't. Not with her. Never with her. She stands in the front of her office with her back at me, but when she turns I notice that her lips are pursed and her eyes are focused. She's checking some files when I come behind her and look over her shoulder. She gasps softly when my warm breath touches her neck but makes no move to turn or say something.

I burry my nose into her soft curls and smile when I hear her inhale quietly. I know she's having a hard time with me but I'm willing to change that. I'm willing to take that chance because I want her so much. Her simple smell drives me into overload and I feel my blood rush south when her pert ass brushes agains my groin involuntarily. I try to press my hips into her ass one more time, seeking pleasure and I succeed even for just a second.

"What are you doing?" She asks me suddenly.

She puts the papers down and just looks down at her hands. This is it! I can't take it anymore.

"Me?" I ask innocently and burry my nose deeper into her hair. She squirms a little bit but stops as soon as my lips brush against her ear. She shivers softly and I wonder how much she really wants this and me.

Pretty much, I suppose.

Her shivers encourage me even further and I press my lips heatedly just below her ear. Her skin is so hot and soft that it takes me a great deal of willpower to take it slow. Her face is flushed and her mouth is slightly opened but her eyes are unfocused now.

When her head falls back and rests against my shoulder I cannot stop the sigh of relief that escapes my mouth. I wrap my arms around her waist, below her breasts and my knee comes between hers, supporting her as her body is resting against mine.

My mouth is filled with her strawberry-blond hair – her hair scent is so unbelivable strong in my nose that it makes the hair on the back of my neck to stand up, electrified. Everything is perfect in this moment. Everything.

I press a little more into her, sighing as she doesn't pull away and lets me press my body fully against hers. Our breaths are a little shallow and there is no other noise than that. She brings her hand and entwines our fingers together while she turns her head a little more to one side to give me better access to her neck. I press my lips on her jaw and start trailing kisses along it, earning a few sighs of pleasure from her, but I can sense that she is holding back.

I want her to surrender to me. Stop fighting me. Stop fighting everyone else. She has to stop thinking about what others believe about us. Of course we've been sleeping together – conform the tabloids and other publications. They want this – they want us just so they could eat us for breakfast, lunch or dinner. It's the truth and it hurts because there's never been more than a friendly, yet nervous dance. There's never been a hug or a kiss or some sample of affection people who work in such close proximity should have.

And it's shocking. Days pass, weeks pass, months and years pass without some sort of connexion. It's also wrong because we have such a great chemistry. I've always felt that she had that spark – that special element which other women didn't possess. Of course I had denied it back then, when I was just a jerk – so to speak.

My life has always been great. Being at the top ensured me respect and fame but never privacy. Security… yeah, that's debatable. I've always thought that I was in a weird sort of way, invincible. Invincible until shrapnels pierced through my chest and almost through my heart. If it wasn't for her I wouldn't have come back. Hearing her screaming my name like that back in that cave opened my eyes. I've realized then that every little smile or blush or babble meant that she was in love with me.

It's really strange thinking like that now after all we've been through since my return. But this – this compensates it. Compensates the lack of affection between us by a long shot. The invisible, thin line between us is crossed and even though it's not really a wild and rough sex session it still has the same meaning to me. Probably even for her.

Thinking back at how many chances I've blown up I want to smack my head into something. She's always been there – like now. Her heart was always opened for me and I never realized that. Is it from just being too stubborn or was it genuine? Both of them, I suppose.

Looking at her now I feel like an invisible weight has gotten off my shoulders. All the events in the past week seem like they've happened a long time ago.

She slowly stirs in my embrace until she faces me with a small smile and her face covered in the reddest blush ever possible. I'm pretty sure I'm flushed too. It's been a little while since I've done this but apparently not too much.

Pepper stares at me and licks her lips. She looks like she wants to say something but I stop her by bringing my lips back to her neck. This position is a little cozy if you'd ask me. I can't put all my weight onto her because she's pinned against me and the desk. The edge of the desk digs into her back and it's a little uncomfortable, I think.

But it's a little better than the previous one because now I can see her face and the rest of her. My eyes are fixed on the swell of her breasts as my mouth moves lower and lower until it reaches the space between her breasts. She brings immediately her hand at the back of my neck and she slowly runs her nails on my skin and into my hair. I groan a little bit at the sensation of her nails but she quickly pulls me back and looks at me with expecting eyes.

This time there's no hesitation when our eyes lock. I use my left hand on the small of her back to pull her a little closer to me but I suddenly regret that movement, because when her hip bumps into mine I hold my breath in hope that she wouldn't notice the proeminent erection. Yeah, that's it.

Hm. She notices it and her eyes go dark and more intense than they've ever been until now. A low moan escapes her throat when I add a little friction between my cock and her hip. God, it feels so damn good.

She shivers then when our eyes lock again, but this time I try not to do something that will probably ruin this perfect moment.

I bring my gaze down to her lips and back up and she does the same. I lean in gently, slowly and careful not to scare her. She always beats me to it and it's only now that I realize that she leans in as well, her eyes closed just a bit. My lips touch hers hesitantly – everything I'm doing to her appears to be just a little hesitant right now. It's the little voice in the back of my mind that tells me to go slow because there isn't other way.

She increases the pressure just a little bit and then closes her eyes completely. I'm so lost. I didn't think it would feel this way – thousands or maybe millions of butterflies flying through my stomach while my heart beats so fast that I think it's going to pop out, and it's just because of her. Of her.

We're not kissing that much as we are brushing our lips together. I smile against her lips and decide if this is going to be our first kiss it's going to be something. I slowly probe my tongue on her lips, tasting her, or maybe even testing her. She's still holding back. I can feel it in her soft, shy kiss.

It's not any kiss. It's a kiss I wanted to get since that night on the rooftop. Or maybe even the first day of her as my personal assistant. I suppose it's the first version, though, because the kiss I want from her now is gentle and intimate, not lustful and greedy.

But it seems that she wants the same thing now as she parts her lips just a little for me to suck on her lower lip. It's not fast, neither rough. It's incredible gentle and soft and so full of emotion that I can only describe it as the best kiss of my life.

She moans a little when I press her too hard against the edge of the desk and I break the kiss and look worriedly over at her frowning face.

"Sorry." I murmur softly and look into her eyes, wanting the approval that she's okay.

I can't remember my voice being so soft and silky before but it doesn't matter as she wraps her hands around my shoulders and brings her lips to mine once again. This time she returns the kiss in full, letting her lips caress mine in a slow, torturous rhythm.

I bring my hands down to her waist and untuck the shirt from her skirt, then I bring my large, calloused hands beneath her white, classy shirt. She gasps into the kiss when she feels my hands skim over her backside where the edge of the desk had caused her pain. My hands soothe her, it seems, because she's sighing against my lips and practically melts in my embrace.

It's pretty uncomfortable to do this while we're still standing so I decide to pick her up and sit her on the desk top. We take a few moments break until our breaths slow down just a little before we begin again. Her fingers are tugging gently at my hair and my hands are having a hard time deciding where they should be. On her waist, inside her shirt or on her back. Yeah, well they kinda decide for me at the moment because I can't make decisions on my own when I'm being kissed by the woman I love.

There's still this nagging question that doesn't leave me focused only on the feel of her because it's too easy. I wonder what has gotten into her, but by the time I get a chance to open my mouth and ask the question she moves her hands down my chest and they come to rest against the front of my pants. I swallow hard and look at her hands.

With a smirk Pepper moves her hands up my chest, getting a groan of disappointment and pops the first button of my dress shirt with agile fingers. She uses her incredible long and sexy as hell legs to pull me closer to her in her attempt to kiss the exposed skin the shirt revealed, and she succeds.

She presses a open-mouthed kiss to the skin just above the arc reactor and then lets her lips touch my arc reactor with tenderness. My heart simply stops at that piece of returned affection especially after she'd said to me that she wished I didn't have this heart – she proves to me that it wasn't something that she wanted to say. It just came out of frustration and I understand her, or at least I think so.

I take her hand and kiss her palm softly while looking her in the eye. I allow myself to drink in the sight of her. Her lips are swollen and the area around her mouth is a bit reddish from my facial hair. Her hair stood up haphazardly over her face and her steel blue eyes were big and dilated and probably the most beautiful I've ever seen.

My own fingers pop out the buttons of her shirt until it reveals her beautiful round breasts clad in a white lace bra. Her face flushes even more at the look I give her and I really can't blame her. The image in front of my eyes is enough to make my cock throb in expectation. It really needs to make some sort of connection with any part of her tremendously sexy body before actually getting out of my slacks himself. I let out a small laugh at the mere thought of that happening.

When I return to her, though something seems out of order.

Her eyes are closed but her flush faded away along with her smile.

"Pep?" I ask, my voice all hoarse.

She doesn't open her eyes and I rush my hands up to her face and touch her. She opens them but she doesn't look at me.

"She began sending me messages even before the party." She whispered in a strained voice. What is she talking about?

"What are you talking about?" I whisper back and clear my throat before burrying my face in her neck.

She makes no move to push me but I can sense the mood has shifted.

"Natasha Romanova." She spats and I can feel one of the hardest erections I've ever had deflate and die. I break away from her like I've been burned.

"…that's why I was late at your birthday…" She explains with a slight tremour in her voice. "…she told me that if I'd – t-touch you she'd come after me…"

That's why? Fuck!

"You must have told me earlier." I tell her with a tremour in my voice as well.

"I'm sorry for this!" She says quickly and detaches herself away from me. "I'm going home. I need to-"

I grab her wrist not so softly and pull her into my embrace. She wraps her arms around my back and holds me tight.

After a few minutes I release my death grip on her and cup her cheek with the palm of my right hand. She smiles weakly and I press my lips to hers in a chaste kiss. She responds by tasting my lower lip.

"You're not going to your apartment." I say pretty damn annoyed that she wanted to leave me with Natasha following every movement Pepper made.

"But I have to go home to-"

"No…" I cut her off with my best glare. "You are home."

I smile at the way her face lightens. Her lips curl up into a small, shy smile and she lets me take her hand and lace my fingers with hers.

"You are staying here. Forever. Permanently." I babble as we make our way to the stairs taking up to the bedrooms.

Pepper doesn't say anything about that, but I know she's thrilled with this idea. Who wouldn't be? You don't expect Tony Stark to say something like that every day.

"I'm going to take one of the guest rooms…" She whispers as she ascends the stairs.

"Na-ah! My bedroom. No discussions." I tell her firmly but with a trace of a smile on my lips.

"Aren't you coming?" She asks after a couple of seconds when she's disappeared into the dark hall.

I twirl around on my heels and get the phone from the coffee table.

"In a few mintues!" I yell. "I have to make some calls."

---

So… what do you think? Do they deserve more or this is just a waste of time?


	12. Day 15 That night

Day 15 - That night…

Rating: R

A/N: A little angsty but it'll pass if I get more comments!

While I ascend the stairs to my bedroom I think about what Pepper told me earlier. That and the hot kiss session.

Is it wrong if I try to protect Pepper from the russian spy? I don't think so – she's in danger and if she hadn't told me that the damn traitor threatened her – since my birthday party maybe she would have hurt her. What a frigid bitch!

I stride the last few steps till my room in seconds and open the door lightly. Pepper is standing with her back at me, looking at the ocean. Even though it's almost eleven it seems that I'm not tired at all. Is it maybe that she's wearing like… nothing?

No, no, no. Of course she's not naked – my god. I think I would have jumped her in a second if she was.

I blink a few times and adjust to the low lit atmosphere in the bedroom and look once again at Pepper. This time I can most definitely see that she's clad in her white lace bra and matching panties.

I grith my teeth and try to suppress a very aroused growl. I'm hungry to touch her by simply looking at her!

Suddenly she turns and looks at me, her expression a very amused one. I raise my eyebrows in sign of innocence as I take off my abused shirt.

It wouldn't be that difficult to get a hard-on once again, I muse and look thoughtfully at the crotch of my pants, feeling the little – or big in this case, prick harden again. How I wish it would stop doing this so quickly! I suppose that from now on every single time I'm going to see her I'm going to get a hard-on.

"Is this what it's all about?" She asks me while she cups the front of my pants in her palm.

"No." I assure her by grabbing her hand and put it on the arc reactor. "_This _is what it's all about." I murmur softly and look at her.

"I believe you." She says against my lips while her hand shifts in my hold so she can entwine her fingers with mine.

I squeeze her fingers and kiss her tenderly, my tongue slipping out to taste her lips.

"So…" I start asking and take her in my arms. "You – me… together?"

Pepper stops kissing me and for a brief moment I think she might give up. Along that I can feel my erection soften a bit when she looks at me like I've just asked her the impossible. It's not the impossible. I can prove to the world – to her that I can really make this work. I really, really want this to work.

I mean if it doesn't then I won't be able to love another woman. Who am I kidding? I've never loved a woman, or a girl for that matter. Hell, I didn't even knew that 'love' was even real.

"I need more time…" She murmurs and looks at me, unsure. "But it's not a no, Tony." She says when she sees the look on my face.

"Oh." I blurt out disappointed. It's exactly like the thing before the press conference and I don't like it one bit.

"Does that mean eight months?" I ask and I feel my chest tighten painfully. The scenario is repeating again.

Suddenly I back off a good step from her that we're not touching anymore. This is ridiculous – damn ridiculous. One moment she's kissing me and the other one she says that she needs more time.

I raise my eyebrow and look at her with steel eyes. She hesitates. Actually hesitates! My heart breaks even more then.

"You don't trust me?" I ask, my voice quivering. I have to clench my jaw tightly because I don't wanna show her I'm weak. I am but I don't want her to know that.

"I-I…" She babbles and fidgets with her hands. Thing she does when she's nervous.

Well, she has reasons to be nervous because I'm not the one standing in front of the biggest man whore on the planet almost naked. I'm freaking out right now, by the way!

"Great…" I mutter under my breath as my eyes glaze over. "You'll be very very lucky if I'm going to be alive until you finally decide to BE with me!" I shout and slam the door behind me as I speed down the stairs.

Patience isn't my strong point. I know that.

I don't look back, even though I know she's following me downstairs to my workshop. First thing I want to do is to lock her out of the workshop. I think better of it and I figure that if she truly wants to cancel my orders she'll tell Jarvis to override the security protocol.

I don't even have to punch my code in because Jarvis has the door opened for me and I look up as I enter the workshop with quick steps.

"The suit." I mutter and take off my pants and socks and put on the black neoprene suit.

I glance over at the door and see Pepper dressed in my robe. She looks like she's about to cry and I can't do anything – except that I want so badly to take her in my arms and make passionate love to her until she forgets everything and everyone except me.

Instead I decide to let the robots assembly the parts of the suit on my body. I don't want to turn to her because I know what expression she has on her face. She'll say that I'm acting like a child and I know that, because I cannot deal with anymore rejection from her anymore.

My own expression changes. I feel a huge smirk spreading over to my ears as the robots finish the assembly and Butterfingers hands me the helmet with a chirp.

"There's no mission tonight." She whispers shakily behind me.

From her tone I can tell that she's mentally willing herself not to cry in front of me - and I respect that. I respect that she has her sanity intact because I'm afraid mine is just a minute from exploding right here.

I don't even bother to give her an answer as I put on the helmet and walk to the place where I can take off. Make a note, I wanna tell her to make the hole in the ceiling a little bigger when I'll be back. Assuming she'll still be here.

"Please don't go." She pleads but I huff, irritated.

I don't even look back as I take off, but I can hear her muffled '_Tony!'. _

---

Six days after I get a call inside the suit while I'm flying over the Indian Ocean. I didn't go back to the mansion. I couldn't and I still can't. From ten to ten minutes the ringtone I used when Pepper called rang. She calls for hours…

But this time is Rhodey's ringtone.

"What the hell do you need?" I ask and make sure there are no planes in the area where I was flying.

"Where are you, Tony?" He asks me, avoiding my question. His tone is soft but demanding.

"Doesn't matter." I mutter and close my eyes for a weird moment.

The "trip" got me really, really tired but I don't know where I should go without creating a mass-media scandal.

"She came to me _sobbing._" Rhodey whispers, his tone full of emotion.

I choke back an own sob as he tells me that.

"She's there?" I ask unable to stop the tears running down my cheeks.

"She's asleep. Please come back home."

"Why?"

I don't even know why I asked that question. Dumb. Dumb. Fucking dumbass.

"She thought she had lost you, again." He sighs and continues. "Please come here to see her and you decide if you'll want to do this anytime soon."

I swallow the large lump in my throat and turn my direction towards home.


	13. Day 22

Day 22

---

"Are you kidding me?!" I say and knock at Rhodey's apartment door. Through the door I hear a muffled response. "Aww, c'mon, let me in."

The door opens lightly and Rhodey gives me a death glare. I raise an eyebrow and try to think of an apology.

"What's the magic word?" He asks sternly.

Oh god. Just let me in for once.

"I ain't gonna say it."

I lay my hand flat on the wooden door so he wouldn't close it in my face.

"Did you forget whose feelings you've hurt first?" Yeah, like you're more important than Pepper.

"I want to see her." What the hell is happening to me? I can't even pronounce her name anymore, or what?

"Fire away!"

I try to push the door slightly but he's holding up well. I may have drank a few cans of Red Bull on my way here so it shouldn't be a problem. So why can't I just---

"Aha!" I shout triumphantly as Rhodey falls down to his butt and I make my way into his apartment unceremoniously.

I don't wait for his permission as I search her with my heart in my throat. I don't even know what I should say to her. I mean I've been thinking about this the whole ride home, but any hard I tried I couldn't form a sentence, let alone a whole discussion.

Kitchen no. Living room no. Rhodey's bedroom no. The bathroom nope. Where the hell is she?

There's only one room left. The guest room. I stop in my tracks and look back at Rhodey. He's right, I shouldn't have yelled at him, and it's not like he's there in Siberia to take care of Natasha himself. That would be outlandish.

"You were right." I admit and clear my throat. "I'm sorry, platypus…"

"You're sorry, eh?" He asks and pats my shoulder. "You've hurt her more that you've hurt me and she should get a proper apology, Tony."

"Riiiight…" I whisper and turn on my heels. I put my hand onto the door knob and twist slightly.

"What if she's going to-" I start asking but Rhodey cuts me off.

"She's not _going _to."

I open the door gently, hesitantly and walk in, careful not to disturb her. She's on one side of the bed with her back at me. At first I think she's asleep but a slight movement of her head makes me reconsider. I get off my sneakers and jacket and crawl under the warm blanket with her. I want to pull her to me, bodies pressed tight with no space between us, because that's the way it should be.

I snuggle as much as I can – my chest pressing against her back. I bury my face in her neck and gently brush my lips on her skin while my arm wraps around her waist protectively. We stay like that for a couple of minutes, my mind slowly drifting into unconciousness after so many days without sleep.

I wake up to a familiar smell filling my nose and a warm breath on my chest – fingers stroking my goatee. I suppose we don't even have to talk about what happened.

"Uh…" I whisper and catch her fingers with my mouth.

Pepper raises her head from the crook of my neck and stares at me.

"Sorry." I say and let go of her fingers. "You taste good." I mumble softly but I don't look in her eyes. I can't. I'm too ashamed of what I've done.

"I know I shouldn't have, Pepper. I'm sorry. And I think you have every single reason on this whole Earth to be mad at me right now. I know I should have waited instead of rushing, b-but I'm so extremely fucked up in my head and it's all because of you. You just…" I tell her, barely breathing. "I mean I know I should have apologized about her then, but I couldn't. I kept taking a step forward and two back with you and now I just want to fix all those mistakes."

God I want a drink.

"And I guess you wouldn't have let me kiss you that night if she hadn't escaped, but she has and you're here and I'm here and I-" I swallow hard and look at her neck where a blackish mark says it all. "I'm sorry for making you cry and worry about me and I know I'm an asshole and idiot, and a uncaring bastard, and I'm sorry because not all of them are entirely true."

Yeah, drink. I'd better get up and put my head under the shower.

"I'm really, really sorry for not letting you decide this." I whisper and look at the tiny space between us. "I know you're used to it but I'm not. It's a new kinda thing for me and hell, I don't even know why they call me a 'genius' if I can't put my own needs aside and actually look into it." I breathe out nervously.

"And I'm kinda nervous too," I admit sheepishly. "So if you're gonna say it, say it now and spare me from a really big nervous break-down because I can't breathe and you're not saying anything and that means that I'm wrong and you don't wanna talk to me, and I, uh," Breathe, lunatic. "Please say something." I plead with her and finally let myself take a short look at her face.

She's not saying anything though. Her face expression is neutral and that hurts a little bit more than I've expected.

"Great…" I breathe out, my voice breaking with raw emotion I'd rather not face it. Slowly but securely my last hope fades away along with the last piece of my shattered sanity. "I'm gonna go now, prepare myself for uh…"

Please say something, please please please please.

"For the uh…" I sit up and take my leather jacket along with my sneakers. My entire body throbs with – with… something I don't even recognize. Disappointment, I guess. Again.

I look for a brief moment into her eyes and that's the last straw. Nothing. Emptiness and shattered dreams. Emotion and thick tension.

"Say something?" I whisper and let my eyes fall down to the floor. "Goodbye? I hate you? Go to hell?"

I'd rather prefer the last two of them. They wouldn't be so cruel as the first one.

"Something? Can you even see me or I'm invisible?" I wave my hand in frustration and close my eyes, wanting so desperately to be home in my own bed right now. "Hello?"

No answer.

"Great." I murmur again and clench my jaw. I wish I could just blurt out those three words, but they'll only do more damage.

"something…something…something…" Nothing. That's just it. Love. I was sooooo damn right at the very beginning. Love isn't what I want. Love is just a waaayy biiiiiggggg disappointment.

She's at her feet before I can comprehend and she kisses me so softly that it doesn't even feel real. It didn't even start that it's gone and I can feel her smiling against my lips.

"You taste like Red Bull." Comes her late answer and I can't help but smile back and take her in my arms and kiss her so desperately that I can't even remember the stupidest things I've ever thought in my whole life just earlier.

---

Day 23 faster???


	14. Day 23

Day 23

Rating: R (blame his overactive imagination)

Still we're not together. She's still figuring this out, apparently.

I try to catch up with her as she speaks. Speaks about the messages she'd received from the Russian spy. This time we're sitting comfortably on the couch in my living room, the fire creating strange shadows on the floor.

"I wanted to." She whispers. "When I saw you at the party…"

"I wanted to ask you why you came, after all." I say.

I remember what happened last year at my birthday party. It's not a pleasant memory, though.

_Heavy-scented air, mind-blowing music, interesting guests, and a slow, sensual dance with the new – and very hot assistant I hired._ I remember the last one all too well, because I won't ever forget the look on Pepper's face when she opened that door and saw us, **together**, making love on the small couch in my own private room at the club.

Yeah, well, steamy details, you know.

_It all started from a simple glance over through the crowd, hoping to find the woman I was looking for since the party had begun. She was hard to find through all those people. I must admit that I liked the way Natasha had touched me then. She startled me when her slender and cool fingers touched the back of my neck, in a glorious attempt to drag me onto the dance floor, even though I was reluctant to dance with her. _

_Yeah, you can blame me. _

_It kind of reminded me of the time I asked Pepper to dance with me at the Firefighter's Benefit. But this time the roles were reversed and I found myself being dragged to the center of the dance floor by the sexiest woman breathing in that whole club. _

_Oh my god. The way she whispered to me to hold still while she turned and brushed her damn perfect ass over my manhood. God… I tried to remain still but with every and each movement of her hips she drove me nuts and I remember all too vividly now as I gritted my teeth and clenched my jaw only to remain calm and not to do anything stupid. _

_And any hard I tried it would do no good, because her mischievous movements only had me quivering with anticipation. _

_You can blame me twice. _

_Natasha was damn talented in the seduction department, I thought then, dizzily. The way she gripped my hands and wrapped them around her waist – and the slow quirk of her round, red lips as she whispered a thing… just a thing, because I didn't understand what she was saying. _

_She giggled devilishly as her body fit the curve made by my body - as she felt what she was doing to me. In an instant I was ashamed and my eyes quickly adverted from hers as we continued swaying to the rhythm of the song by R. Kelly – Ignition. _

_The damned dance and the suggestive lyrics almost made me ignite, as the song went. _

And the rest, uh… I'm kind of embarrassed of saying this to you.

_She brought her hand and took off my sunglasses (yea, I'm such a narcissist) and smirked up at me while rolling her hips into mine. I couldn't recognize the soft moan deep down in my throat when she did that. _

_Guilty and aroused I searched once again through the crowd that glimpse of red hair, as it happened many months ago at the benefit. Seeing as there were no results I quickly backed off and grabbed her waist to pull her into my embrace. _

_She rushed me through the empty hall and through the nearest door, which happened to be my private room. I silently gasped when I realized that someone must have entered in and do all of this, because the room was no longer dark as I left it not an hour ago. I looked around and felt a sudden pang of fear deep within my throat as I saw countless red candles and rose petals thrown all over the floor and the couch. _

_I hesitated for a mere second and then I looked at her. The fear I felt just a couple seconds ago disappeared and it was replaced by heavy lust. _

_Her deep purr reverberated through my molars as she kissed and tasted me, her lips covering mine in a slow rhythm. Clothes were removed quickly and soon I found myself on top of Natasha, plunging deeply into her wet heat. _

_The whole thing was kind of foggy, I remember now._

_Only that this happened._

_On the edge of coming we were clutching at each other, moaning and groaning deeply. I could've sworn then that nothing compared to that extraordinaire lovemaking session, oh heck, sex session between us. I had her screaming my name so passionate it broke my concentration as her inner muscles contracted around me. I stopped then and looked over her shoulder, in the mirror.** Huge mistake number one. **_

**Pepper Potts was standing with one hand on the door knob and one on her mouth. **

_I froze, shocked, unable to move a single muscle for a few long seconds. I held her gaze through the mirror for a couple of seconds and frowned. That was completely and utterly horrific, caught between the pressure in my groin and the urge to kill myself for letting this happen. _

_The way her eyes turned liquid had me shuddering then. How could I let this one happen?_

_I remember how it felt then. _

_I **couldn't** move. I remember how I sounded when I gasped her name. _

**Huge mistake number two.**

"_Pepper…" I gasped and fell down in Natasha's embrace, my cock softening inside of her._

_Then the Hurricane Romanova hit me with all its force. She pushed me off her with incredible force and then she was throwing her stilettos at me, hoping that she'll stab me with them. Luckily I was able to duck down beneath a coffee table while she grabbed her clothes and moved into the bathroom while muttering 'idiot' and 'asshole' under her breath. _

_Somehow I managed to return to the party but it was later that I found out that Pepper left home in a rush. _

**The best b-day party I ever had. **

"Tony… Are you even listening?" She asks me, slightly irritated.

I quickly look at her and nod absently. I can't swallow the large lump in my throat, though.

"Good. I'm going home."

I nod again, this time unconvincingly. She leaves then without giving me a kiss goodbye but I'm happy that things are just the way they should be.


	15. Day 24

Day 24

---

I make sure no one's around when I show up at half past five in the morning at Pepper's condo. Not an hour ago I received a call from Nick Fury while I was downstairs in the workshop, tinkering with a new scheme for the suit.

He said that he got a message from his cute little puppy, Agent Phil Coulson, and that the message was about the Black Widow.

_She's after you, Iron Man. _

This is absolutely wonderful. It's not enough I had to fight with her two months ago, and now she's coming after me, and possibly after Pepper. I don't want to risk her life, and that's why I'm here now, knocking at her door at half past five in the morning.

After a minute or so, the door opens, revealing a sleepy Pepper Potts in a robe - her hair is messy and her eyes look tired. She manages a weak smile, though and my heart skips a beat when she gives me that look.

"Good morning, sleepy." I say and walk inside, closing the door after me.

She gives me a confused look and moves a bit to give me enough space.

"Is it morning already?" She asks gently, her voice raspy.

"No, it's not." I whisper and find myself giving her hand a gentle squeeze. She doesn't pull back and I smile a little, feeling a little dizzy.

"And…" She starts, quizzically, but I cut her off.

I've been thinking about how I should tell her this, and I think I know how she'll understand the whole meaning of my request, but it's not that. Not yet, unfortunately.

"I need you to pack all your things by tonight." I tell her softly and look her in the eyes.

Her mouth opens and closes for a few times while she looks at me with wide, unblinking eyes.

"Why?" She manages to croak out, eyeing me intently. She's clearly not a fan of this idea, but I have to do this – hell, I'll even obligate her. I really don't want her harmed or anything, especially not by the woman I've slept with.

She's innocent in this case.

"You're moving in with me." I say softly.

Pepper pulls her hand out of mine and looks at me, disbelievingly.

"Why?" She asks again.

Why does she have to be this stubborn all the time? I muse and wrap my hand, gently around her wrist.

"Please," I beg her, looking serious. "Pepper, please do this for me."

She doesn't hesitate when she responds, her words oddly sharp.

"We're not together, and I remember I told you that I'll think about it, _Tony_." She whispers, slightly irritated.

Oh god. I hope she's not thinking that I came all the way to her condo at _this _hour just to ask her to move in with me. I hope so, because if not I'll have no credibility in her eyes, anymore.

"It's not about **us.**" I admit with hesitance. "I mean it is, but it's not."

Pepper shakes her head and walks away from me.

"What do you **mean** it is, but it's not? I don't think I understand, Tony."

This whole thing starts to annoy me.

"I don't understand _either._" I murmur and pass my hands through my hair, not helping at all the disheveled mood it's in.

"What is it then?" She whispers more softly this time.

"Pepper…"

She turns to me, curious.

"I promise I _will _tell you, but not now, – tonight." I respond very seriously. I'm freaking afraid that she won't believe me.

"**All** my things?" She asks after a good minute.

"I think that's what I said."

"What are you going to do, Tony?"

What am I going to do? I don't know… I'll probably sell it to another SI worker. I just don't want her living her. It's too dangerous.

When she sees me so still she walks up to me and cups my cheek in her hand. I try not to move, but it takes all my willpower. I'm so fucking _afraid_… Not of her, of course. I'm maybe just a little bit too paranoid, but I won't risk anything for her.

"What's wrong?" She whispers and moves her eyes to mine.

I want to brush it off with a silly comment or a sly remark, but I know I can't. Not with her. She's so used with my behaviors that it won't probably take her a second to know I'm lying to her.

"Something's wrong. I can feel that." _Well, yeah. Something is __**wrong, **__indeed. _

"Yes," I exhale sharply. "Something's wrong. I need you to do this for me."

"Is it…" She hesitates and tips my chin up with two fingers, her touch warm and secure. "About **her**?"

How does she know? I mean, is she a mind-teller? Oh no. She better be not, or else I'm so fucked up. She might now my deepest secret – oh, hell. It's not even a secret.

"Tell you tonight. Promise." I smile at her and lean in quickly to brush my lips at the corner of her mouth.

I freeze when I hear her startled gasp and pull back quickly. I'm sure I'm all red over my face because I feel I have fever.

"Uh…" I trail off and look down at the dark wood covering the floor.

"Yes…" She whispers back, flustered.

"I- uh…"

"Yes?"

Babbling. Not sexy.

"So…"

"Yes?" She replies back quickly.

"Gonna send Happy to get you at eight sharp."

"Alright." She smiles at me. "Tony…"

---

The day passes rather quickly with me calling several S.H.I.E.L.D agents and having a video conference with Nick Fury.

Fury said that his agents managed to track down their target – luckily. But it's hard to find her though, with all of her… resources. Nevertheless he had assured the security at the Stark Industries and sent a few agents to my mansion. Of course it wasn't necessary but he had insisted.

Grinning, I pull back from the desk just in time to spot a flash of red hair. **Red hair, **actually. It's most definitely not strawberry blonde hair, like Pepper's. I hope it's _not…_

I sit up and make a walk careful to the door. Everything seemed alright. But in truth – it was NOT.

"It's good to see you again, Mister Stark." Comes a purring voice behind me.

I feel like I've swallowed a rock and I can't stop the sudden need to throw up.

**She's here. GOD she's here! In my own house and oh god, it's past eight and Pepper's not here and I hope nothing bad happened, because if this EVIL woman touches a single fiber of the woman I love and cherish the most in this whole goddamned earth – I swear I'm going to hunt her down and kill her in the most brutal way. **

I swallow hard and turn to face Ms. Romanova, my ex-PA and my ex-_lover. _This is all the way weird; I muse and look around desperately for something that could use me some help…

"Hey." I mutter breathlessly.

She's wearing her latex, catty suit and her hair is falling down her face carelessly.

"Are you going to turn down an invitation for sex, Tony?"

My eyes widen at her words and my mouth goes dry. I back off against the door as she walks provocatively towards me. **Fuck. Oh holy fuck. This is not happening! **

"J-Jarvis?" I babble and look thoughtfully to the ceiling. "Don't come this close." I try to warn her but my voice fails me.

"Oh." She sounds utterly surprised. "So… I'm not going to get _that _hot sex session you've promised me?"

"What?" I blink at her, _utterly _confused. What the hell is she talking about?

"You know what." She threatens back, her knee coming up and stopping into my groin.

I can't feel anything but the painful throb down there. Oh dear Lord. She hit my damn balls!

---

Part 2???


	16. Day 24 Part 2

Day 24 – Part 2

R (just to be safe)

---

"Missed me?"

_Whatwhatwhatwhat. _I glance around myself, again, but it's hopeless. Jarvis isn't responding and my suit is across the workshop. I try to cling to the last piece of my faltering control. I know that if I would try to attack her I'll most probably end up with a twisted dick. Or a broken one, if I'm lucky enough.

"How couldn't I?" I whisper, barely audible. I risk a brief look at her, but she's smirking, knowing maybe that those words are just lies.

"Do you wanna play with me?" _Play with her? God. Bad idea._

I'm staring unbashedly at her, my eyes wide as onions. She laughs.

"Promise you," She starts suddenly when she sees me so unresponsive. "- that _if _you play along a little bit, I'll let anything else slip. Including your so-called romantic relationship with that woman of yours, Virginia, is it?"

"You're crazy! I- I'm not doing anything, least of all with you!" I mutter harshly and take in her rufled appearance. "I'm not even into a relationship!"

"Oh." Her brows shoot up and her eyes are a darker shade than usual. "You dare lying to me, Anthony?"

We're standing in the middle of the workshop – _how the hell did we end up there? _I don't remember moving a step from her. It gives me an idea, though.

A week after the battle I installed an emergency panel beneath my desk, if only I could reach there without her suspecting a thing.

"Gee, I dunno. Usually, it's – you know, helpful."

"Don't fool yourself, Tony Stark. You don't really know what I can do to you," She pauses while her face lightens up. Shit. "Or…" She continues devilishly. "To Virginia. If you prefer that way."

Great. Fantastic. Excellent. Marvelous.

Thrilling, though.

"I must say," I acknowledge softly, as my eyes drift down to the panel. "You're really tricky, sometimes. Just my luck."

She grins, exposing her white, perfect teeth.

"You wouldn't like it any other way." She says and eyes me with a hunger in her eyes I've never seen before.

"But," My hand is resting over the red button there, waiting patiently. "I must ask you to leave, or else I'll have to call the cops or tie you myself, which, don't get me wrong, it's not going to be kinky. Na-ah!" I almost yell as she starts walking towards me.

"I'll leave you, Iron Man." She says with a hint of sadness in her voice. Her hand, though, somehow sneakes in my pants and finds no impediment as her slender fingers encircle my cock and squeezes with a precise amount of pressure for me to writhe and fall down to my knees.

"… please_please _don't." I slur out, the words oddly constricted. I know there are cameras in here, mounted for security and uh… other things, but I also know that Jarvis has them all stored safely onto my private server. I'd better delete the feed, because I don't want Pepper to find out this whole – stupidity.

"Don't what? Beg me."

Hell. I can't breathe when she's doing these things to me. Things like what she's currently doing between my legs and the fact that her lips bite mine so roughly that it only becomes a pain. And not long after I can taste my own blood in my mouth.

Before reaching _that _point, her hand stops moving and she retracts it immediately. My vision is blurry and I still can't breathe very well.

"You're a big boy." She whispers finally when she's five feet away from me. "You can handle it by yourself."

Am I? That's the real question.

---

I don't know why I just can't simply jerk off. It's not like I haven't done it before, but thinking about what happened just a few minutes ago simply makes my hand stop.

It's the same fifteen minutes after when Pepper arrives, her face dropping when she actually sees me. I can feel a drop of blood dripping from my mouth, down my chin and fall down, soaking into the carpet.

She takes in my appearance with wide, unblinking eyes, and when her eyes spot my erection they linger there a little bit longer, and then they totally stop over my face. I can't breathe **now. **

"She did _this_ to me." I mutter in an unrecognizable, hoarse voice.

I can feel my eyes start watering when she doesn't say or do anything. She keeps staring at me, until she hears my chocked sob. It's only then when she strides the last steps towards me and looks better at me.

She asks me calmly what happened. I can barely open my mouth so she asks Jarvis. He shows the video feed to her and my chest hurts when she watches it. After it's over she lays one hand on her mouth and stares at the blank screen.

"I think I might need some time, alone."

My heart breaks and the hurt grows even more, and I open my mouth before I think.

"Don't leave me, Pepper."

She stops but keeps her back towards me. I can see her shoulders rise and fall and I think she's crying, but her voice is steady when she tells me.

"I'm not leaving you. I don't have any where else to go. Go take a shower. I'll be waiting."

---

Slowly, but reluctantly I get out of the shower and head to my bedroom, my hair dripping wet.

I look down to the towel encircling my waist and sigh. The full has turned into a semi, which is a good thing, after all.

---

After I dress up, I head down the stairs and into the kitchen. Pepper is sitting on a stool, and she's drinking a cup of tea. There are some traces of tears on her face and her voice is raspy and slow when she whispers it's nothing. Nothing bullshit. I don't know how many more chances is she willing to give me now…

I can't touch her and it hurts. It hurts because I love her so much and I want to tell her so. I know I'm a loser when it's something about her, but I want to try.

"You don-don't know how hard it is for me to make things right." I whisper sometime after I finished my second cup of English tea.

She's not saying anything, though. I can't go on much longer.

"She meant nothing. You do." I say and look down at the small tea cup. "Because I love you."

The small gasp that rushes past her lips gives me hope. When I turn to her she's frozen.

"I think I'll see you in the morning. I had Jarvis secure the mansion. It's safe and you can, uh choose a room, I don't care. Just stay here for at least a few days until I can find a safe place for you." I lean and brush my lips on her forehead, briefly. "Goodnight."

Before I exit the kitchen I stop by the fridge and fish out two cans of Red Bull, but I can't stop the slight tremor in my body and the way my entire body seemed to chill after my admission of love.

That night I fall asleep, my neck in an awkward position and one of my leg falling down on the floor. The couch is better than the desk, though.

In the morning I can feel her cool hands stroking my hair as a warm blanket replaced the coolness of loneliness.

---

I want your opinion, guys. Together/not together just yet?


	17. Day 25

Day 25 – The End

Rating: NC17

---

I don't want to move because it feels so damn good. Also, I don't want her to know that I'm awake. My head is on her lap and her fingers stroke my hair delicately.

After a few minutes I stir just a bit before opening my eyes.

She's smiling but her mouth is sort of twisted. I rub at my eyes and sit up with a small groan. I still can't believe what I've said to her last night, but it's all true – I love her. Gee, it's a little weird to say it to her, knowing that we're so familiar with each other, yet so professional.

Well, she used to be the professional one. I was the one with more initiative.

They're all memories now; I muse and look at her with shyness.

"I'm sorry that I didn't believe you." She whispers after a few minutes. I look at her a little surprised. I wasn't expecting an apology.

To be honest…I thought she'd leave me right after I said those words to her. She's wearing the same clothes like yesterday, so that means she didn't go home to change or something and I feel extremely glad.

"You don't have to apologize, Pepper. I understand what you meant and it's okay." I reach and take her hand in mine. I squeeze it gently before continuing. "I haven't really paid attention to _us _after what happened after you-"I swallow hard. "-said that you didn't _want._"

I close my eyes briefly and focus on my breathing which is a bit shallow.

Pepper slowly moves her hand under the blanket and takes off her black stilettos, tossing them carelessly around the workshop. My heart beats so fast it threatens to explode in my chest and my palms are sweating. I look at her with wide eyes as she sits on my lap. Her petite hands stroke the area around my arc reactor slowly and her mouth kisses the throbbing pulse in my neck.

I stay stock-still, too afraid to move because this is on her terms. She takes her hands in mine and guides them to the small of her back. I hesitate for a second before wrapping them around her small waist and pulling her lips to mine. She meets my lips with zero hesitation and we kiss and it's better than the others before.

Our eyes meet and they're filled with the same emotion: love. My heart swells a bit when she whispers so when her lips reach my ear. "I love you, too. Now make love to me."

I'm glad to. Verrryyy glad to.

---

The image around me is astounding. All of our clothes are strewn across the floor. On the couch, yeah it's us… and I can't keep my eyes open, because I'm so entirely consumed by the way her entire frame feels around me. She pulls me so that our bodies are touching, her breasts brushing deliciously against my chest with each and every thrust.

Her hands are all over me – on my chest, on my neck and arms and back.

My arms encircle her small waist and pull her even closer to my sweaty body. We're so sweaty even though we're not really making any real effort. The lovemaking is slow and tender and a bit passionate and it's exactly as I pictured it would be. It's everything I wanted for God knows how long…

I bury my face in the crook of her neck and inhale deeply her unbelievable scent. Her hair is soft when it brushes against my face and her mouth is doing all these _unbelievable _things, like licking and sucking on my ear and kissing my jaw softly.

Everything else is pointless now – especially Iron Man. If I had knew that it would feel like this, making love to the woman I love – I would have said those three words months ago.

Years ago, even.

The taste of her soft skin and the sound of sweet, slow sex make my arms tighten around her, silently begging her to _just _come.

And she does. Her hands grip at my already tousled hair tightly and her breath is hot against my ear as she gasps my name. My entire body shudders when I feel her inner muscles contract against my cock – and that's the last drop. I wait for another few seconds… _waiting patiently _for her to finish, being a gentleman and all of that, but the need has become so strong that the second she falls against my chest I cling to her warm body and release inside of her with her name spilling from my lips.

I can't move. No. I don't want to move from this embrace, but finally I let her slide off me and move on one side of the couch. I can't really breathe and the look she gives me… god. Her eyes are filled with the same emotion – love, but it's something else in there as well, happiness and fullness maybe.

I can feel it in my heart as well and I slowly take her in my arms and let her put her head on my shoulder. It just… can't feel this way, like I've just exploded, literally.

I don't know why it does. I just know a thing. I'm so not ever letting her go away from me, again.

We don't sleep just yet. We can't. We're simply cuddling close and enjoying this moment like there's not going to be any other. _I love her_. Really, I do.

"I love you." She whispers right after and I chuckle at the rightness of this very moment.

"Me too." I say and kiss her softly. "Uh…" I trail off and she looks at me through her bangs. "Ever thought of being Mrs. Stark?"

The look on her face is priceless. She opens and closes her mouth for a few times before settling on laughing.

I laugh as well, how couldn't I? I'm so happy I might burst.

I look at her again, this time serious, like I'm really proposing to her. She's staring at me like I just went crazy. Truth is I _am _crazy. Without a word I roll us both for negotiations.

---

There y'all go. This is the end (for now, at least) but you decide if you want this to continue. Until then, thanks for reading!


End file.
